Shards and Stupid Boots

I just wanted to drill a hole through his stupid, pointy leather boots. When I looked down, that was all I could see: those ridiculous, questionably phallic boots. Why wouldn’t be look at me? Well, to be fair, I wasn’t going to look at him either. I was just looking down, collecting the razor sharp pieces of broken glass from the kitchen floor – from a broken glass bowl, a fallen Christmas ornament, and maybe a bottle of vodka – it really could have been any of those things that sliced and buried its way into the heel of my foot, prompting me to just stare down, and pick up the pieces…just stare down, and pick up his mess. Maybe a piece of glass will shimmy its way up into his heel too. Big, gaudy boots and loud, raging music - we all get it: you drive a loud bike, you blast your music, and you shatter glass; clearly you are perfectly sound individual with zero problems and nothing to hide. When he gets glass in his foot, I won’t pick it out. I will let the glass live in his heel, which will slice away tiny bits of flesh inside his foot. I assume he will be crying.

A different note: when you pick glass out of your foot, you can sometimes hear the small fibers cracking if you dig with the slightest force or squeeze the tweezers too hard. What insult to injury: you have to deal with the initial stabbing of the glass through the flesh, and then endure the painful sound and feel of the glass being drawn out. Is there anything more evil than broken glass?

The Life of Beautiful Things

I listen to the best songs I can find - those that put my mind and body in complete bliss - over and over until I am almost sickened by their melodies.

And I wonder...is it worth sucking the life out of heavenly things simply to savor them? To drain a thing's specialness by loving it? Maybe...there's certainly some guilt...but I think I'll continue to suck the life out of beautiful things at my own pleasure.

Because life is too short
and beauty is endless................

A Thought...

"And you suppose all this makes you not quite a woman, and certainly not a man, but a complete stranger. And there you are."

(How to Make an American Quilt, pg 121)

Swimming with Dolphins

Nothing is better than swimming with dolphins. They're smart, friendly, entertaining, and completely laid back - Pretty fast too. Their skin is the most uniquely wet, silky surface; it welcomes to be pet, even kissed. When you hang with a dolphin, you know it's smiling beside you, delighted to share the water.

Swim with the dolphins. You'll see.

Today brings

the looming subtly of dank suffocation

Step away from the ipod

No, you cannot look through my ipod.

"But we just want to see what's there, we're curious...it's not a big deal."

No, it's a very big deal. The music I choose says everything and nothing about me. People tend to assume there's a strong connection between music and identity, and I'm not about to lend myself to that possibility. If the music on my ipod does in fact reveal my inner workings, why would I sign up for that kind of exposure?

Even more unsettling: being falsely labeled by someone who has some brilliant revelation about my whole person after seeing Missy Elliot on my ipod.

It's just stupid.

And when those super sneaks make their way into my playlists, I hear, "Wow, I wouldn't have expected you to listen to Queen." Oh really? What did you expect me to listen to? What kind of people listen to that sort of music exactly? In your expert opinion?

I'm not sure.
And If you are sure? You're a fool.

So just lay off my ipod already.

Spray-on? Yes please.

The best time-saver ever? The only can for the lazy man?

Spray-on suncreen.

It's cleaner, easier, dries faster, and makes it impossible to miss a spot. Was this stuff around when I was a kid? You don't need a whole lot of it either. It cuts roughly five seconds off the application process, which is a definite thumbs up. Laugh all you want, but you'll be grateful for that time once you've missed the ride to the beach. Is there a downside? I think not.

Spraying on suncreen is like spraying on a coat of armor - sun armor. It literally hardens like a shell over the skin (that's how you know it's working). Some hate the crisp, shiny feel, but I find it invigorating...badass, even. Just the act of spraying suncreen on looks cool. There's nothing badass about roughly coating the flesh with white globs, or the sound of sunscreen pooping out of a bottle.

Think about it.
Buy a can.